MY SONS ANGUISH:
My Dad
by Anand Krishnaswamy
"I never once heard
Him complain of work, the weather
Or pain. When twice
They dug cancer out of his foot,
His comment was: "but I’m still alive"
These heart felt words of PETER SKRZYNECKI are taken from his poem FELIX SKRYZNECKI, where he describes his relationship and feelings towards his father.
This quote represents changes in my perceptions of two very important things: my father and life itself. Some say that nothing can match the bond between a father and a son. A father is his son’s guide, his teacher, his leader, his best friend and his hero all at once.
This is true in every sense and when a child is faced with the reality that his father may be taken away from him forever, his life is torn apart and he is suddenly confronted with frustrations he never felt before. It was in this trying period that I realised things that I should have seen a long, long time ago.
Everyone in this room takes life for granted. You do, I do, we all do. We all take the clothes on our backs, the roofs over our heads, the food on our dining tables and most importantly our parents, for granted. It was only when I was confronted with the concept of such a loss that I realised how great a part of my life my father is, and what a void his non-existence would leave. And, even though it may seem strange, in some ways I can say that the events of last year have brought out the better person within me.
My father’s illness not only taught me to appreciate life in every sense, but to live it to the fullest. His tenacity is unrelenting, his love of life is so strong. It is these qualities that made me change my perspective of him. He changed from my friend, who I mucked around with all the time, to someone I admired, someone I was inspired by and someone who I wish I could be.
My mother had always told me … "if you are one tenth of the man that your father is then you will be a good person." And finally, after 16 years I began to understand what she was talking about.
I doubt I will ever come across another person in my life who lives life to the fullest as much as my dad does. His love for life is so strong that there is not a day that goes by where he doesn’t express just how grateful he is to still be alive.
In many ways he represents the sprit that SKRZYNECKI talks about in his father.
My dad never complained, or asked what he had done to deserve such an illness, in the same way that SKRZYNECKI’S father never complained of work, the weather or pain. My dad has just taken life as it is, and has moved on to bigger and brighter things. The interesting thing is that throughout my life my dad has been my hero, but it took this experience to show me to what extent I looked up to him.
This is where it really sunk in. Here is a man, already into his mid-fifties, whose love for life is as strong as an eight year old who plays with his friends day in day out. It really showed that no obstacle, not even a stroke could debilitate his spirit, or bring him down. It is here when I began to think, what if all of us lived with such a determination? What if all of us appreciated every day on Earth as if it was our last? What if we all didn’t take life for granted?
The truth is that if we all lived like this, the world would be a completely different place. A better place? Maybe … maybe not, I am no one to decide, but different all the same.
The fact is that none of us here really live life, I mean really live it like its our last day on Earth. From my experiences, I take many things. Life is too short to be sad, or depressed on full of hate. Spite just takes years of your life. If you all think about your lives long and hard, you will realise, just like I have, that our lives our great. We are all privileged, we are all lucky. You should live life to the fullest because there are others who don’t have the opportunities that you have. But most of all, live life for those who die young.
The sad thing is, is that it took a serious family illness to make me realise that my views of life were misguided and that my perspective of everything was without consideration to the fact that life is a gift, and that we are all lucky to be here right now.
I just hope it doesn’t take you such an experience to come to this realisation. I now see life as a set of challenges, a big test designed to show who we are as people. I now live my life by the motto, "its not what life throws at you, its what you throw at life."
